IndigNation             WHAT'S GOT YOU HOT?

I have no real love for marketers and marketing copywriters generally, but honestly, have you ever read the drivel that gets affixed to wine or attached to artwork?

Who writes this crap??

Did they get their writing degree, if they have one, by drawing ‘Spunky’ from a matchbook?

Do they actually take themselves seriously??

Does anyone take them seriously?

Can you imagine being their kid, and having to go to school for “what does your parent do” day, and having to get up in front of a class and say “my daddy writes crap descriptions of wine”??

Here are just two examples, one from the art world, and one from the wine world. Both are real photos of the actual descriptions that somebody was paid to write. They are hard to read, so I’ve transcribed them as well, but I include the photos just to prove to you that I couldn’t make this stuff up.

This reads, in relevant part:

“A supple ripe wine with good balance and a silky mouthfeel, leading to an elegant and long finish.”

But my favourite by far, the epitome of that about which I rant, is this description of some “modern art” (or perhaps only the ‘art’ should be in quotes), which I should point out was a bunch of small paintings on tiles, hung next to each other:

Let me just quote the most egregious part here:

“These forms, at close distance, establish a reductive language that addresses the formal concerns of painting and drawing. It is this tension between Cutlip’s technical skills and his passion for the intuitive process that gives rise to a dynamic conversation in the work. These conversations keep all the components together as they form, dissolve, and re-form.”

Bollocks.

So I guess it could be worse…

“My daddy paints forms that establish a reductive language and that give rise to a dynmanic conversation as they dissolve and re-form.”

Hmm..on second thought, maybe it’s a toss-up.