Misogyny Christmas
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As a field technician, I get to see examples of all types of people and their actions. Most of the time, I find people to be generally kindhearted, respectful, and friendly. However, there is the occasional asshole ….
For example, I was at a name-brand card shop on Christmas Eve. A man came to the counter to complete his purchase while I was standing next to the clerk, working on a broken cash register. His card was a masculine one, the kind of card that a man would give to another man. As any good retail person will do, the clerk used suggestive selling at the point of sale. She picked up on the wedding ring on his left hand.
“Would you like anything else today? Maybe a card for your wife?”
“No, I never buy her a card. She asked me again this year if I was going to get her a Christmas card. I told her no.”
“Really? Why don’t you at least get her a little card?”
“I gave her a diamond ring; she doesn’t need a card. It doesn’t mean anything anyway.”
I’m sure you can tell which one is the asshole in the exchange above. Keep in mind, this is a guy who is purchasing a card for another man, but refuses to buy his wife one because he “gave her a diamond ring.” As if that’s all that’s required of him throughout the remainder of his marriage (which may not be long, with his attitude.)
Frankly, I would be surprised if his wife is faithful to him. Both members of a marriage deserve happiness, and if he refuses to do even the little things to keep their love alive, I wouldn’t be surprised if she looks elsewhere to get what she needs. And if he ever finds out about it, he will probably beat the hell out of her to put her back “in her place.”
It’s guys like this that give the rest of us a bad name. Men like him give justification to the stereotype of the misogynistic male.
We’re not all like him, ladies. Some of us care very much about our spouses, and remind them of that daily. Sure, we all make mistakes, male and female alike, but there’s a difference between a mistake and a mindset. The guy I heard in the card shop had a mindset problem.
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April 22nd, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Sorry. No way. The guy refused once. The salesperson pressed the point. Personally I have to restrain myself from physical violence in such cases (ok, so a slight exaggeration there). Anything after that, to me, basically sounds like the guy is saying anything to get a pushy salesperson to shut up.
Now if the guy REALLY does think that such things don’t matter, then maybe he DOES fit into an asshole category. Maybe not - he DID buy her a diamond ring - hardly evidence that he doesn’t care about his wife. You can’t tell just from the brief encounter you describe.
April 22nd, 2007 at 6:37 pm
For me, this is not about the salesperson. I dislike pushy salespeople too, but the fact that this guy would buy a card for another person yet refuse to ever buy his *wife* a card indicates to me that he has little or no regard for his wife. The diamond ring comment sounds to me like saying, “I did my duty to her; if she wants anything else, she’s out of line.” That’s just my interpretation, though. Your mileage may vary, Grumble, and that’s part of what this site is all about.
I can say that the man certainly didn’t seem upset with the clerk, if that makes any difference.