For you, with love, Mr. IT Guy
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I know that you must be stalling on actually getting my computer fixed, Mr. IT Guy. Is it because you like to see my face, glaring at you, three times a week? I notice how vehemently you defend Vista at the slightest insinuation that the “upgrade” to “Vista-piece-o-shita” has caused all of these problems (problems that were not there when I was on good ole’ XP). Is this just your masked passion for me? I also can’t help but notice the surprise on your face everytime I mention that Vista is not recognizing my password, even though you have apparently fixed this problem at least 4 times. Yet, everytime it doesnt take my password, is like the first time for you. You seem to get “Vistamnesia” each time it happens. I am amused at your childlike naivete; it is cute. I also love the smug looks that I get from you everytime I tell you that my computer keeps booting me off; but stays up for you. Its like you and my computer have this intimate language between the two of you - I am jealous. I wish I could partake in this special computer relationship; it could be like an IT threesome. Isn’t that your fantasy? I could drape myself in computer cords, with a cordless electric-mouse bikini top, and a stragetically placed mousepad. Maybe, if you are really good, and actually finally gain me access to my S-drive, I will put my hair in two buns like Princess Leia. Oh! I’m sorry; have I offended you? I just assumed that since you are a technology-nerd that you have an inherent love of Star Wars. Perhaps you are more the Renaissance Fair-type? Come to think of it; I can see you draped in colorful peasant clothing, holding an oversized turkey leg.
Well, Mr. IT Guy - I’d really love to finish this rant, but I just heard the music in my iTunes skip, which is usually the precursor to my computer freezing up on me. Now I have the opportunity to call you again, and hear your exasperated voice on the other end of the phone as you manage to make it my fault that my computer is having problems yet again; why do you hurt me so? How much longer must we play this game of cat-and-mouse? I may just get impatient and finally call the Geek Squad for some good old fashioned phone sex.
Until later, I remain, faithfully yours because I seem to have no other choice.
XOXO
Miss Ready to Throw Her Computer Through the Window
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I love this. And I’m an IT guy!
Your complaints about Vista are some of the reasons the computers for which I’m responsible DON’T have Vista. And I totally understand your complaints about the smug looks from some smarmy IT guys. That’s why I prefer the term Information Services, rather than Information Technology. It puts the emphasis on Service, not Technology. It’s our job to support you guys, not lord over you with our (admittedly) arcane powers to interface with the computer.
(And yes, I do have an inherent love of Star Wars *and* Renaissance Fairs. You got me on that one.)
But I have to draw the line at iTunes. If it’s not necessary for your work, it shouldn’t be installed anyway. Especially considering how iTunes repeatedly reinstalls its update features, thereby slowing your computer down on startup. If you’re gonna listen to music, bring it in on a memory card or homemade CD and play it with good ol’ fashioned Windows Media Player. That way, the company doesn’t get nailed for song piracy, because the songs are not on the company’s hard drives. And don’t stream music over the network connection, because when everybody does that, it eats up bandwidth and then you all call ME to complain about how slow your Internet connection is!
As for Geek Squad, go ahead. Give them a call. I guarantee your “service” from them will be far less satisfying than what a true Information Services technician can give you.